Death - Part 1

One of the questions from the tag I just did was "Have you ever watched someone die?"  I was able to answer yes, not once but twice.  Perhaps more for me than anyone else, I thought I would write about those two experiences, splitting them into two posts.  Here is post 1.

It was Saturday, August 21, 1999, almost 10 years ago. Robert was out of town, he was supposed to be gone two weeks.  My mother had gone in the hospital on the 18th. She had been in the hospital before with similar problems so we weren't too concerned.  That Saturday morning I was at a Cub Scout training meeting, where I was supposed to teach a class later in the day.  I was sitting in the meeting when someone told me I had a phone call.  My sister, Chris, was calling to tell me that mom's doctor had visited her in the hospital and then called my dad to tell him she was dying and would probably die by that evening.  Needless to say, I did not teach my class.  I vaguely remember telling President Oldroyd (who was not Stake President of course, but I think was in charge of the training) that I needed to leave to go to the hospital.  When I got there my dad and Chris were there. Mom was unconscious, and remained that way.  We talked for a while and then decided that the grandkids should all come up to say good bye to grandma. Kimberly wasn't driving yet and Robert was gone, so I called our wonderful home teacher, Jeff, who gave up part of his Saturday to bring my kids to see their grandma.  Kimberly was 17 at the time, but the others ranged in age from 4 to 11.  I know some of them didn't understand what was going on, but I think it was important for Chris and I that the kids say good bye to grandma.  Before they left, Chris' husband, Bob, and Jeff gave my mom a blessing.  My parents weren't members of the church, but I think dad realized it would help Chris and I, so he let them do it.  After they left, my dad, Chris, and I held vigil.  We sat in her room and talked and reminisced. At one point we were talking about my mom's mental health issues, which she struggled with her whole life.  At times she dealt with some real mental health demons, and she was very difficult to live with.  We asked my dad if he had ever thought of leaving her. He said no, because he loved her, and you just didn't do that.  That has always stuck in my mind.  I wish more people would remember that when times get hard in a marriage.  You just don't leave.  Such wisdom.  We sat there as afternoon turned to evening. Before 9:00 we noticed her breathing was slowing down. We all sat and stared at her, watching for her chest to rise and fall.  Then one time, nothing happened.  I remember saying "Did I miss her breathing?"  But I hadn't. She had taken her last breath and was gone from us. That simply. From what we could tell, she was in no pain and the end seemed to come without a struggle.  I like to keep that memory in my mind.  I remember my dad calling his brother, and the surprise I felt when he broke down on the phone.  My dad was worn out from the whole day, so Chris and I sent him home and we waited for the funeral home to come pick up my mother's body.  Then we each went to our homes to try to sleep before the funeral planning began the next day. Since Robert was still in New Jersey, I went home to an empty bed.

That was one of the times I cried myself to sleep.